


Where To Go When You Have To Go

by Antares10, NamekianMaoh



Series: TrioBlasterSets AU [6]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Banned Together Bino, Biology Differences, Cultural Differences, Existential Crisis, Frisk searching for a toilet, Human Biology, Might or not be canon, Monster Biology, Mostly silly, NOT Omorashi, Other, Prompt: Excretory functions, TrioBlasterSets AU, as in monster have a very different biology going on, monster dont have toiletts, or a lack of a bathroom, which leads to a different culture surrounding the bathroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares10/pseuds/Antares10, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamekianMaoh/pseuds/NamekianMaoh
Summary: So, Frisk is on their way through the Underground to free all of the Monster. Unfortunatly, there are some differences between Monster and Human biology.Or: Frisk's quest to find a toilet
Relationships: One-sided Parz/Frisk
Series: TrioBlasterSets AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/775272
Kudos: 6
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Where To Go When You Have To Go

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is... mostly silly. It could be Canon to the TrioBlasterSets AU but lets say it's... mostly... a different timeline where we took a bit of realism and made it ridiculous? Have fun XD

The Underground was kind of fun. Really!

The ruins were full of cute and funny monster, the “fights” were mostly just play to be honest and Toriel, who was okay with being called Mom, was super nice and everything one would picture in that role. She was warm and lovely, she gave the best hugs that filled Frisk with a giddy sort of happiness.

But Frisk had to reach the surface. Had to fix some things they had broken; things they didn't remember and didn't want to remember… They had to leave quickly before they were tempted to stay forever!

The snow forest and Snowdin was a beautiful and quaint little area, even if it had been a bit scary before Frisk had met Suny. The skeleton turned out to be funny and kind, as well as all of his brothers. Sans and Papyrus, Pyru, Saz and Parz. All of them were fun in their own way; and as a plus, Parz was just dreamy!

Of course not just the skeletons were great company, the rest of the town was too. The bear monster was a bit awkward but tried to give Frisk some valuable life advice, the inhabitants of the library were quiet and happy to give Frisk some books to read, the stone family was just cute to watch and the Inn Keeper was kind and smiled at Frisk, letting them take a nap for free!

They had spent all day in Snowdin after that, playing around and trying to learn more about all of them and the world around them. Also they were overjoyed when they got an invitation to hang out with the skeletons. Though Parz was pretty shy when they flirted with him, yet they still had so much fun!

And really, Frisk would have loved to stay longer but there was one problem:

For as long as they were already here, they have not seen one toilet! Not even a bathroom! And that slowly became a problem because even if not drinking much their bladder slowly demanded relieve and so far Frisk had not found a discrete way to do so. They were NOT going behind a bush! Firstly, there were no bushes big enough and there was NO WAY they were doing their business out in the snow, it was COLD!

So that left asking around. Which was... honestly a bit embarrassing. But what else could they do?

The flame elemental at the bar had looked at Frisk funnily when they asked about the bathroom, the Inn had only the bedrooms to be rented out and even Papyrus (sweet, wonderful, friend-shaped Papyrus) was disappointing Frisk.

  
“A bath...room?” he asked when Frisk inquired about it. “Oh... well... I never heard about a room just for baths? But I know some folks in waterfall like to take baths regularly... But I don't think we have something like this?”

“No bathroom?” asked Frisk again, their hands shaking a bit as they made sure to get their spelling right, while Papyrus gave a helpless shrug.

“Well we have a room where we can get cleaned up, but dad only ever stocks oil for fire baths... I guess one could still get water into the tub we have in there, but we haven't done that since we were little bones...” He perked up. "I can show you! Come along!"

So Papyrus took hold of Frisk's hand and guided them to a room on the upper floor. Frisk was kinda impressed and hopeful when they stepped inside the room. It did have very distinct Bathroom-vibes. There were tiles, there was a small sink in a corner and a big tube. An assortment of bottles was standing at one wall and there was a small basket for clothes. Papyrus was still talking about oil-baths and how his parent would light it up for a nice fire, but Frisk waved that explanation away. Of course the monster would have fire bathrooms.

“What about a toilet?” They asked when they were still not seeing the one key feature they were here for in the first place.

“A toilet?”

“You know… The Loo! The outhouse! The quiet place! The porcelain throne!”

“... I really don't understand. Why would we have a porcelain throne?”

Frisk couldn't believe it. “But... but where do you go?”

“Go?”

“You know? Go potty?”

“... we have pots in the kitchen?”

“No! I mean... to go to the toilet! Take a leak. Do a number 1.”  
Papyrus was still looking at them in pure confusion.  
“To take a piss! Where do you take a piss?”

“... I have no idea what you are talking about, human.” he said slowly. “Maybe we should ask Sans, he usually knows stuff like that.”

Frisk could cry. They maybe did. Could they just let out the pressure via eyes? Eeeeewwww no, bad thought! Stop it right there!

But the issue was still at hand: Frisk's bladder was slowly rising through the ranks of attention grabbing and upgraded from “mild inquiry” to “demanding screech” quite quickly. So they left the skeleton house (their dream prince Parz did say something that sounded like Goodbye!) and just went around the town.

SOMEBODY had to have a toilet, right?

A pretty embarrassing hour later and Frisk could very well say that no. Apparently monster didn't have toilets. It was just unfair. Terribly, terribly unfair!

“I don't quite know what you seek...” said the plant monster Frisk tried to explain the concept to in a last ditch effort to get the monster to understand what they were searching.

“Just a room. Or some place. To get rid of... waste?”

The monster managed to frown without all the necessary parts to do so. “Waste? Well we have the trash cans out there...”

“No I mean more... organic? Like... waste water?”

The plant seemed to think it over. “Sorry no, nothing comes to mind. I heard humans apparently need to get leftovers of food in their body out of it sometimes? But that all sounds so strange.”

“Wait... really?”

  
“Yeah, sounds crazy, right? Apparently their food doesn't just disappear into magic inside them. They like... have to get some stuff out of it and then they turn it into disgusting stuff.” The monster shuttered. “Crazy and scary stuff.”

Frisk was close to crying. So monster truly... have no bathroom. Unfair. So unfair! What should they do now?

“Human.” Papyrus greeted them when they passed him for the fourth time. “Human, maybe you can describe to me again what you seek?”

“A toilet,” Frisk signed out again. “Just... just a place to get... water... out of my system.”

“Oh? Water?” asked Papyrus, thinking. “Well... if its something with water you might wanna go through there to waterfall? There are lots of lakes and bodies of water and well... waterfalls.”

Frisk considered their options. For maybe a second because their bladder now upgraded all the way to “I GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW” level of demanding so they wasted no time in rushing in the direction Papyrus had send them.

And indeed there were waterfalls and lakes and other bodies of water. Also it was mostly dark. So Bonus. Also there was the sound of water EVERYWHERE and yeah, Frisk had no second to waste anymore. This is happening now, all regrets be dammed!

Looking around Frisk went to at least take off some of their clothes before jumping into the first save looking lake.

Manners be dammed, they needed some sweet, sweet relief.

-

Flowey made a face when they watched them from his place not far away from Frisk. “Ewwwww.” they said, huffing. “I totally forgot humans did that... yuck.”

Despite being a soulless flower, they suddenly got the very strong feeling of being hit over the head.

“... Chara?”

But nobody answered.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Banned Together Bingo 2020, prompt. Excretory Functions. 
> 
> So. Monster don't have toilets. They just dissolve any food into pure magic and that is that. So... no toilets. Sadly human bodies don't work like that. So... this fic was born (honestly, if you had to go and had to go through Waterfall, I bet you all would just jump in some pool or another. XD)  
> That's all I got, hope you had fun.


End file.
